Wesley Snipes, I Wish You Were Really An Anti-Tax Super Hero

I've been in a funk as of late.  I couldn't figure it out at first.  Because generally speaking, I'm pretty easy going, even-keeled.  It's rare that I ride an emotional roller coaster,  so I was puzzled as to why I was in the dumps.  It took a while, but I finally figured it out.  It's tax season, and darn it, we don't have a fearless fighter working on our behalf.

Don't get more wrong, I don't mind paying my fair share, but what's fair about the glutinous government gobbling up shameful amounts of our money, all the while drooling as it awaits its next feast? What's fair about convincing some Americans that there's benevolence in getting a tax refund, because you qualify for a low income subsidy, despite working a full time job. Or the Child Tax
Credit somehow balances everything out because you're getting a refund? What's worse is having to PAY because you earned a measly few extra bucks, which somehow puts you in an economic category that you know damn well you don't belong.  This is the stuff alternative universes are made of.  What once made sense, no longer does. In this upside down universe, being successful is a punishable offense.  Striving for success is strongly discouraged.  Break 'em down, make 'em all the same is the new order of the day...filthy peasants.

Obviously, righting this ship is a job far bigger than the best and brightest that we send to our nation's capitol can handle.  This is a job that only a person with super hero skills can take on.  He or she must be fearless and able to withstand temptation, because that greedy old behemoth, with its insatiable appetite for taxpayer dollars, will offer him riches beyond our hero's wildest dreams.  He or she will be asked to compromise for the good of...the behemoth!

What we need is Wesley Snipes.  Fearless. Uncompromising. Cool. As Blade, he dealt a devastating blow to those bloodsuckers, and I bet he could whip these bloodsuckers too. After conquering the behemoth,  he'd put on his sunglasses, take a look around the room for anything that might still present a problem.  Ah, our savvy hero would spot the threat and draw his sword, wielding it at lightening speed.  And with his job now complete, he'd step over the shredded tax code and exit into the night (remember, Blade is part vampire, so he works nights). Soon, everyone would cheer, grateful for their newfound freedom, "Thank you Wesley/Blade...thank you!"

I wish it could really happen.  Wesley Snipes really is a master in martial arts, and he really does believe that the government takes too much of our hard-earned money. Unfortunately, Wesley didn't quite seem to understand that our tax laws, when violated, can also pack a pretty powerful  punch.

A nice read about Snipes' case, which interestingly, the jury found him not guilty on the felony charges and guilty on just three misdemeanors, can be found here.